Jake and I are hoping to move in together in the next few months and when we’re not drooling over overpriced rental properties on Zoopla or trying to decide between a furnished or unfurnished flat, we’re discussing our finances. It’s not uncommon for couples to open joint bank accounts when they move in together in order to pay the bills, simplify their expenditure and gain a sense of ‘unity’. However, after much discussion, Jake and I have decided this isn’t the best option for us. For now, we’re keeping our finances firmly separate.
On the face of it, setting up a joint account seems like a sensible, grown up, and even romantic move but in reality, is it more trouble than it’s worth?
Here, 19 people share their thoughts on the practicalities of a joint bank account and shared finances:
Joint accounts are often more practical
Rebecca: “Me and my boyfriend have our salaries paid into a joint account and all our rent and bills come out of it. We both have personal accounts but haven’t used them since we opened our joint one. We never argue about someone spending more than the other, especially now we’re expecting a baby.”
Alison: “Best thing my partner and I did was get a joint account. Both wages go in, bills come out. No more worrying who is paying for what and we both have equal rights to what’s in there. We are sensible enough that the majority of the time we draw a lump sum at the beginning of the week and it sees us through.
They can give you a sense of equality
Alison: “We feel more equal in the relationship. We trust each other enough to share a mortgage and have a family together, shared finances come with it. We aren’t married, but I feel we’re as committed as any married couple.”
“We trust each other enough to share a mortgage and have a family together, shared finances come with it. We aren’t married, but I feel were as committed as any married couple”
Catrin: “Every account I have is joint. I don’t think I’m stupid, but I am happily married. Joint works for us, maybe as we have fairly similar views on spending. I do agree it may not work for everyone.”
Combining finances can allow you to work together as a team
Stephen: “We have always had a joint account since we were married 49 years ago. You’re married so you share everything. Why not share your finances too?”
Geoff: “I don’t understand the modern world. We married in 1972 and opened a joint account. Our salaries were paid in and the bills were paid out. No secrets from one another. We had shared responsibilty and when times were hard, we worked at it. We didn’t walk out and we were married for 42 years. I have missed her every day since she died. Why do people seem to find it so hard now to commit?”
Christine: “When a couple marries ‘two become one’. This should carry forth into the practicalities of every day life. People like to say these ‘romantic’ vows on their big day but are then not so keen to actually put their money where their mouth is when it comes to married life.”
Scroll down to see the potential downsides of opening a joint bank account with your partner…
Joint accounts may not be the best option if you have different spending/saving habits
Rachel S: “We’ve been together for 11 years and have 3 children but we don’t have a joint account. It’s not a trust thing. My partner earns more than me and also likes buying more expensive things. Not just for himself but for me too. When he uses his ‘own’ money I don’t mind! If he used a joint pot it might irritate me! I like to buy cheap crap but I do it with ‘my’ money so it doesn’t bug him!”
“Personally, I think it is important to retain a sense of independence in a marriage or long-term relationship, rather than sharing absolutely everything. Especially when you have dramatically different attitudes to saving and spending”
Break ups can be made harder for those with joint finances
Hannah: “I opened a joint account with my partner when we moved in together. But then he decided to have an affair. Was a pain having to separate everything again and I’ve learnt from the experience that its better keeping your finances separate”
Keeping your finances separate can help retain your independence
“Each party needs their own source of finance in the event of a break-up, death, severe illness”
Coreen: “Regardless of how much you love your partner, anything can happen. Each party needs their own source of finance in the event of a break-up, death, severe illness etc etc. You can’t always wait for solicitors to sort it out”
Cassie: “My money is my money and my husband’s is his, we pay everything 50/50. I don’t understand why people feel like every couple should have a joint account? Seems a pretty prehistoric way of thinking”
Tehmina: “Personally, I think it is important to retain a sense of independence in a marriage or long-term relationship, rather than sharing absolutely everything. Especially when you have dramatically different attitudes to saving and spending.”
Claire: “Once bitten twice shy…I will never give up my own financial control. We have joint account for bills but the rest is what I earn therefore I control how it is spent.”
Rachel E: “I would never merge accounts. My money is mine. It’s not that I don’t trust my partner, it’s more that I prefer to know exactly what’s going on so if anything does go wrong, I only have myself to blame.”
“I think having your own independence in this day and age is important. To earn your own money and be able to buy a new top or buy some lunch without having to worry about what your partner has taken out that day or have to check your account balances frequently is a feeling of freedom.”
Vicky: “We both have our own businesses and keep our own money and spend it how we choose, I don’t want to know how much he spends on a shirt because I don’t want him to ask why I need another pair of shoes or a bag. We don’t need a joint account.”
A mix of joint and separate finances can give you the best of both worlds
Carine: “We have 3 accounts. 1 joint and 2 solo. Every month we put money for rent and bills in the joint one. Then anything left in our solo account is for us to use as we wish. Certainly not a lack of commitment but just a way to manage money that works well for us.”
Viviane: “We have personal accounts and a joint account. Every month we put money into the joint account to cover mortgage and bills. We also have a joint savings account in addition to personal ones for savings related to purchases for the house etc.”
You’ve got to do what works for you
“Not every single couple in the world will think or act the same, as long as they’re happy it shouldn’t matter how they use their money.”
Ellen: “My husband and I have had a joint account since the day we moved in together and also have a separate savings account (that also gets used by both of us). That works fine for us but that doesn’t mean that that arrangement would work for everyone. We had our reasons for wanting a joint account and I’m sure that people who have solo accounts have their reasons too. Not every single couple in the world will think or act the same, as long as they’re happy it shouldn’t matter how they use their money.”
Louisa: “Me and my partner have a joint account. Everything we have is joint including his credit card. We did this as soon as we moved in together (only been together 2 months at this point). I trust him completely but in this day and age it’s hard to find someone to trust. Nearly 2 years later it still works. Do whatever you think is best to your situation”
You don’t have to merge finances for the relationship to be strong
“You don’t have to place money into the equation to show your solidarity, show your love or dedication to someone”
Adam: “It’s possible to have joint lives, pay bills jointly and share responsibility jointly also. It doesn’t have to be a joint account. I think having your own independence in this day and age is important. To earn your own money and be able to buy a new top or buy some lunch without having to worry about what your partner has taken out that day or have to check your account balances frequently is a feeling of freedom.
“It’s important for people to see what they earn and what they have left without feeling guilty for spending a little more or having to tell your partner it’s OK for them to buy themselves something and not to worry… You can still have a joint partnership, a relationship, unity and be strong. You don’t have to place money into the equation to show your solidarity, show your love or dedication to someone. Monetary things don’t matter to a relationship, you’re with them for them as a person, not what they earn, not how much they spend or what they choose to do with their money.
“It’s lovely to see couples that have been together for years and had everything in one pot, but unfortunately in this day and age there are more break ups and breakdowns than there are successful relationships…. But then there’s alot more pressure these days too. Money doesn’t make a couple, people do.”
All comments above were taken from the comment section on this Facebook post from The Sunday Times. I’ve edited some comments for clarity.
